February 2012
71 posts
I REALLY JUST WANT TO FUCKING MAKE OUT WITH YOU...
3 tags
3 tags
nobody hates me more than i do.
4 tags
3 tags
painted my nails.
this feels weird.
someday, i'll be happy.
because i’ll be different.
i won’t be me.
i’ll wear real converse high-tops with quirky knee-high socks, spray-dye my hair pink, paint my nails bright green, wear a hoodie all the time, learn how to smile, wear fingerless black or elbow-length gloves.
i’ll have a cat, and i’ll make friends and go to clubs and drink vodka cocktails and smoke menthols or cloves and...
4 tags
i wish you still loved me like you used to.
11 tags
Vampire: Oh my god, that is human skin.
Vampire Recorder: This is like the Dead Sea Scrolls, the holiest of holies.
Vampire: Yeah, but I bet the Magna Carta doesn't have nipple on it.
6 tags
“C’mon, George. Shake a leg, it’s Thursday, and you know what that...”
i don't know who i am anymore.
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honestly, i just want to get high and fuck to...
5 tags
“A Flock of Chestshire Cats” -...
a sad day indeed, when waiting two minutes for...
What do you mean you've never seen The Princess...
fencing-quips:
Leave.
Now.
Go home and watch it.
Then you can come back and play with us.
7 tags
me: hey do you have a middle name
L: I sure do!
L: Do you!?
me: YES!
L: Is it margaret?
L: or samantha?
L: gladys!
me: no, but it starts with an m!
L: Mary
me: CLOSE!
L: michelle
L: marrie-anne
me: nope!
L: SHIT
L: I give up.
me: MARIE
me: is your middle name ANTHONY
L: NO
me: FARTFACE?
L: Starts with a D
me: DANIEL
me: DOUCHEFART
L: DANIEL!
L: YOU SMELLY BOOB GIRL!
me: YOU SMELLY BUTTFACE!
L: YOU SMELLY VAGINA NOSE!
me: YOU SMELLY PENISFOOT!
L: YOU SMELLY LABIA CHEEKS!
me: YOU SMELLY SCROTUM MOUTH!
L: THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE!
me: neither does vagina nose or penis foot
“Don’t yell at them for daydreaming. If you date a writer, you will sometimes...”
– Heather O’Neill, “How to Date a Writer”
4 tags
Eating rice cakes
jessyeilexia:
Can’t hear over my chewing.
#ricepeopleproblems
in case any of my followers care or are...
1: Full name
2: Zodiac sign
3: 3 Fears
4: 3 things I love
5: 4 turns on
6: 4 turns off
7: My best friend
8: Sexual orientation
9: My best first date
10: How tall am I
11: What do I miss
12: What time was I born
13: Favourite color
14: Do I have a crush
15: Favourite quote
16: Favourite place
17: Favourite food
18: Do I use sarcasm
19: What am I listening to right now
20: First thing I notice in new person
21: Shoe size
22: Eye color
23: Hair color
24: Favourite style of clothing
25: Ever done a prank call?
26: What colour of underwear I'm wearing now?
27: Meaning behind my URL
28: Favourite movie
29: Favourite song
30: Favourite band
31: How I feel right now
32: Someone I love
33: My current relationship status
34: My relationship with my parents
35: Favourite holiday
36: Tattoos and piercing I have
37: Tattoos and piercing I want
38: The reason I joined Tumblr
39: Do me and my last ex hate each other?
40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?
41: Have I ever kissed the last person I texted?
42: When did I last hold hands?
43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?
44: Have I shaved my legs in the past three days?
45: Where am I right now?
46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?
47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?
48: Do I live with my mom and dad?
49: Am I excited for anything?
50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?
51: How often do I wear a fake smile?
52: When was the last time I hugged someone?
53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?
54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?
55: What is something I disliked about today?
56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
57: What do I think about most?
58: What’s my strangest talent?
59: Do I have any strange phobias?
60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?
61: What was the last lie I told?
62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?
63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?
64: Do I believe in magic?
65: Do I believe in luck?
66: What's the weather like right now?
67: What was the last book I've read?
68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?
69: Do I have any nicknames?
70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?
71: Do I spend money or save it?
72: Can I touch my nose with my tongue?
73: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of me?
74: Favourite animal?
75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?
76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?
77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?
78: How can you win my heart?
79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?
80: What is my favorite word?
81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr
82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?
83: Do I have any relatives in jail?
84: I accidentally ate some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?
85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?
86: What is my current desktop picture?
87: Had sex?
88: Bought condoms?
89: Gotten pregnant?
90: Failed a class?
91: Kissed a boy?
92: Kissed a girl?
93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?
94: Had job?
95: Left the house without my wallet?
96: Bullied someone on the internet?
97: Had sex in public?
98: Played on a sports team?
99: Smoked weed?
100: Did drugs?
101: Smoked cigarettes?
102: Drank alcohol?
103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?
104: Been overweight?
105: Been underweight?
106: Been to a wedding?
107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?
108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?
109: Been outside my home country?
110: Gotten my heart broken?
111: Been to a professional sports game?
112: Broken a bone?
113: Cut myself?
114: Been to prom?
115: Been in airplane?
116: Fly by helicopter?
117: What concerts have I been to?
118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?
119: Learned another language?
120: Wore make up?
121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?
122: Had oral sex?
123: Dyed my hair?
124: Voted in a presidential election?
125: Rode in an ambulance?
126: Had a surgery?
127: Met someone famous?
128: Stalked someone on a social network?
129: Peed outside?
130: Been fishing?
131: Helped with charity?
132: Been rejected by a crush?
133: Broken a mirror?
134: What do I want for my birthday?
135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?
136: Was I named after anyone?
137: Do I like my handwriting?
138: What was my favourite toy as a child?
139: Favourite TV show?
140: Where do I want to live when I'm older?
141: Play any musical instrument?
142: One of my scars, how did I get it?
143: Favourite pizza toping?
144: Am I afraid of the dark?
145: Am I afraid of heights?
146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?
147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?
148: What I'm really bad at
149: What my greatest achievments are
150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me
151: What I'd do if I won in a lottery
152: What do I like about myself
153: My closest Tumblr friend
154: Something I fantasize about
155: Any question you'd like
6 tags
4 tags
“Cigars” - Rockettothesky
7 tags
Ben: oh so remember the avon makeup story?
me: yup
Ben: so i came home the next day and wifey looked like she had pancake mix on her face
Ben: :D
Ben: "what's going on with your makeup"
Ben: "it's the avon one, i don't like it i'm going to give it to my mom"
Ben: XD
me: hahahahahahah
Ben: i died laughing
Reblog if you're a cat.
3 tags
Why Do Cats Purr?
fakescience:
2 tags
The Horribly Slow Murderer with the Extremely... →
this sounds fucking hilarious
gawww tibetan food is the shit
yum yum yum.
The 25 Most Awkward Cat Sleeping Positions →