November 2009
78 posts
fuck you, stairs. what the hell did i ever do to you.
it's my kind of day
a confusing mix of religion, philosophy, and politics
3 tags
everything i know is wrong, everything i do, it just comes undone and everything is torn apart
- coldplay, “the hardest part”
things that are heaps awesome
talking to my boyfriend on the phone in front of my parents and saying dirty things to him without them understanding because they don’t fucking speak French.
having a boyfriend that my parents don’t know about
3 tags
"you just want somebody listening to what you...
- coldplay, “square one”
3 tags
3 tags
close your eyes just feel and realize it is real and not a dream i’m in you and you’re in me it is time to break the chains of life if you follow, you will see what’s beyond reality
-enigma, “beyond the invisible”
What is the cure against reality?
spiro-pun:
a) Death
b) Insanity
b) insanity
3 tags
sitting on the moon
i am sitting on the moon, watching planet blue, hello looking all around rotating without sound, where are you?
where are you? i am sitting on the moon where are you? i am missing i am missing you i came from very far, a little unknown star, hello i don’t know what to do it is so cold and blue without you where, where are you? i am sitting on the moon where are you? i am missing i am...
my connection sucks here
“here” being my parents’ house. it’s funny though, because when we first got wireless, i was amazed. and then i went off to uni and the internet there is heaps faster than the internet here.
also, it is mega boring here. i have nothing to do except play video games or get online or sleep. it’s kinda nice though; i can play video games and not think “damn, i...
3 tags
my heart goes boum-boum-boum every time i think of you inside it’s boum-boum-boum lost control, what shall I do? ‘cause i wanna be your lover ‘til the end of our lives i could never miss again these loving eyes
ohhhh boum-boum-boum my heart goes boum-boum-boum every time i think of you i feel that boum-boum-boum no control of what i do simplicity, complexity, oh, what a tragedy...
3 tags
"Universities are institutions where one goes to...
can't help but reminisce...
i’m back to feeling emotions again; i don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
i feel like my heart’s been broken recently, but it hasn’t. like i’ve been crying for three days straight, and i can’t cry anymore, and all that’s left is exhaustion and this deep, lingering sadness that won’t go away.
why are there days that i miss him...
4 tags
it's official.
trance with male singers is heaps better than that with female singers.
well, that's where i belong
and you belong with me
i always get distracted and start looking at the...
they remind me of a time when i was almost happy
thom yorke's way of moving is sex to my brain
only 97 more goodbyes
only 97 more times for my heart to break a little each time you leave.
dis-moi exactement ce que tu veux faire à moi,...
s’il te plait…
i no longer feel any emotion
and it is awesome.
2 tags
how can i be the only one without a smile on my...
- matchbox 20
spiro-pun:
vdoublev:
schmaltz herring -...
4 tags
schmaltz herring - shpongle
introduction no. 2 (because my first one sucked)
hi.
i’m [insert name here]. i’m eighteen years, four months, and two days old. i live in the USA and am female, though i sometimes think i should’ve been born male.
i like drugs, alcohol, sex, and music. i swear far too much. i’m agnostic, obsessive-compulsive, and potentially depressed. i might have social anxiety disorder. i go to therapy for this. i have short term...
mostly i just think that people who have music...
i would greatly appreciate it if you all would...
it is 2 AM and you are all fucking drunk and way too fucking loud.
yes, i am aware that it is the weekend and that you are university students, but i don’t fucking care, i’m trying to do my damned homework.
i lie to you about my happiness so you won't be...
i’m sorry.
i keep meaning to tell you.
letters
to the douchebags in the apartment below mine: how the fuck do you manage to jump on your ceiling, making my floor shake? and dude, your guitar playing sucks. go to the music building and practice, because doing nothing but strum tunelessly for hours on end is not cool. to the bitch in the apartment across the hall:
STFU. seriously. quit yelling, quit crying. the entire building does not need...
"If he thought like me, he would've known that...
i feel so sad today
but i don’t know why.
i never know why.
3 tags
shouldn’t be so complicated just hold me and...
are we human or are we dancer?
i’m going to switch therapists. maybe this time they’ll give me a real psychologist/psychiatrist instead of just a therapist.
i don’t want to just fucking talk about my problems; i want to know what the fuck is wrong with me.
almost 5 AM, i’m still awake, and i’m supposed to wake up in like 3-4 hours. i could always just stay up all night, but i’m sure pulling...
my immune system is shit, and i guess there’s nothing i can do about it. “some people are just born with weak immune systems.” is what my doctor said. my entire body is shit. always something wrong with me.
here’s everything that’s been wrong with me in the past two months: cold - mid-september infection mild tendonitis in my knee infection infection infection ...
things i wish
i wish i could’ve told you that you’re the only reason i got out of bed today. that you’re the only reason i get out of bed any day. that you’re the only reason who i am still exists, that you’re the only reason i’m still alive.
i wish i could’ve told you that every time we say goodbye, it breaks my heart, that even when i’m mad at you, i still love...
i can't remember the last time i really felt alive
can you?
i'm bored.
entertain me.
reality is ripping at the seams
i am high and horny and completely physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted and i don’t even have the strength to think about him, let alone care that he’s, for once in our lives, sicker than i am.
i wish this shit were stronger, like lsd strong. but it’s not and it’s all i can afford.
2 tags
feeling scared today write down “i am okay” a hundred times the doctors say i am okay i am okay i’m not okay skin is crawling off mopping the sweaty drops sticking around for this shit another day another day not another day pink pill feels good finally understood take me in your warm embrace i am trying i am trying
therapy sucked yesterday. i was too mentally and physically exhausted to really make sense, and i don’t remember a damn thing i said, except that i wanted him to stop mothering me and that i suck at making friends.
what i really miss is having something to work towards. a goal that made perfect sense, that was admirable and honorable. i miss feeling strong, even if i was even more fucked...
things i miss
staying up all night, going to bed at 7 or 8 AM. or worse, going to bed at 10 or 11 AM, sleeping until 5 or 6 PM.
always being in my sleep clothes, playing Guild Wars for five hours straight. eating dinner at midnight.
being able to do whatever the fuck i wanted to do, and nobody would say anything, because no one knew what i was doing.
the new-ness of a relationship, plunging in headfirst....
