i don't feel any better.
i just want to be normal.
i have OCD.
and there’s all this stuff i need to say. not because i want to say it, but because my psychologist says that if i do, it’ll probably help me get past this impasse. an impasse, as defined by the almighty wiktionary, is “a deadlock or stalemate situation in which no progress can be made”. and i need to get past this impasse. i need to make progress. granted, there are...
i miss my old psychologist. :(
Alan: He's out in the garage with Larry. He's upset. Well I can see why now.
Don: What's he doing in the garage?
Alan: He's just working that problem, y'know...
Alan: That problem he can never solve.
Don: The P vs. P thing?
Alan: Yeah, that's the one.
Don: Aw man...
*post-coital happy dance*
so i had this really awesome dream last night.
it was about archery; i was fucking awesome at it. and then these army guys showed up to practice archery, and this general said i was way better than any of them and that i had a lot of potential. and i woke up REALLY wanting to do archery, but i’m poor and can’t. :(
I'M FUCKING MELTING
nevermind, they weren't that great
gonna eat some gnocchi now, guyz.
it's fucking hot.
it’s 29° (84°F) inside the apartment; 35° (95°F) outside.
butter chicken for dinner tonight.
everything's ok now, guyz.
except no indian restaurant tonight =/
seems i've chosen "worried as fuck"
not sure whether to be worried as fuck or pissed...
so like, i've lived in France for a year now.
it's not getting any better.
what's that? another empty promise of sex?
sorry; i can’t hear you over the sound of me fapping.
i still want to go off somewhere alone with a pack...
L: I am going to bed! As I am quite tired.
me: OK. sleep well
L: Sure will! I sleep like a pro!
all i remember is bits and pieces (mostly things...
dancing like an ass calling a bartender a cocksucker (he wouldn’t let me use the bathroom) falling down (apparently more than once?) pissing behind some construction barriers in the street vomiting in the metro
what the fuck happened last night?
cos honestly i have no clue.
that awkward moment when your french psychologist...
cleaned the whole fucking apartment. it took me...
that’s kinda ridiculous. anyway, this is one of the rare moments i’m actually glad our apartment is only 25 m².
i’m tired of holding everything in until i break down. tired of the nightmares. tired of myself. tired of the intrusive thoughts. tired of sleeping poorly. i wish i were back on my meds. i wish i could smoke as much as i want too. i wish i hadn’t made that fucking stupid promise, even if it’s better for me that way. sometimes i wish i were back in B-town, getting drunk as hell...
Well the truth is that I don’t like people much. And they don’t much...– John Nash, “A Beautiful Mind”
i wish Pascal would quit saying "you're not sick;...
i am sick.
i think the only time i really only ever...
i wish my face didn't think that i'm going through...
fuck this shit; i’m almost 20. puberty was ages ago.
Ferret legging, also known as put ‘em down and ferret-down-trousers, is a...– um, okay…
happy birthday to the only person on tumblr i know...
(it’s already monday here in France, so technically it’s already your birthday)
i guess if i had to choose how to die,
i’d choose death by kittens. or getting eaten by a shark. or a t-rex. or a velociraptor. but yeah, kittens.
that awkward moment when you don't know if a car...
niknacks: gabbysantos13: Epic GIF. Story of my life. THIS.
i kinda just want to go somewhere
where i’ll be completely alone. alone with my Dostoevsky books, Russian Standard vodka, and smokes. and then take the time to find out what i really think and believe and who i really am. but i can’t.
me: if you could live in any era, which would you pick
the Italian: boston