so i was debating whether or not to wash a cup to...
an hour later, i find myself thinking, “what the fuck is wrong with me?” not because i’m beyond lazy. but because i forgot that we have milk. I COULD’VE BEEN HAVING MILK AND COOKIES ALL THIS TIME.
The Mnemonic Alphabet by Demetri Martin →
This is a great way to remember the order of the alphabet using a Mnemonic device. It really helps me get through that dreaded LMNOP part. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Always Beware of Cats Darting Eratically Forward Going Halfway Into Jungles, K…
Ben: lol i was thinking about dinner and laughing
i would just like to note that i changed the...
me: probably going to end up doing a pregnancy test
me: i want a fucking kitten
me: why must they be so adorable
me: why must this damn apartment be so small
me: why must our landlord be such a tightass
drinking coffee at (almost) 3 AM
i regret nothing.
shut the fuck up, biological clock.
stop saying things like “maybe being pregnant wouldn’t be that bad”. i’m only 20, for fuck’s sake. so yeah. stfu. you can talk again in like, six years. minimum.
sweet mother of fuck
this virus scan is taking a hell of a long time.
so, i just farted for like 20 seconds straight.
in my defense, i’m sick.
me: "Girl forgives shark that bit her"
Ben: maybe she should go swimming with it again to show it that she wants to be friends
i highly doubt over-sugared coffee and bacon are...
but fuck it.
the Italian: talking about serious things
the Italian: what do u think is the best mountain dew?
me: ummm original
this gif works for everything
You passed the 11th grade! You’re going to be a father! Your mom has cancer! You failed the math test! Your grandpa just died! I’m sorry I gave you AIDS Your blog sucks! I’m sorry for laughing at you the time you got diarrhea in Barnes and Noble fucking lol at the last one XD
so supposedly i'm not supposed to have any butter...
but fuck that; mashed potatoes aren’t worth eating without butter.
Ben: eating healthy and avoiding processed etc would really give your body the ol' kickstart too, i've see the videos on youtube
me: but i like processed stuff
me: giving up processed stuff would mean no more oreos
me: and what is life without oreos?
me: NOT WORTH LIVING, THAT'S WHAT
Ben: it's been hot for a few weeks now
Ben: it's gonna work its way up to chicago and the northeast i guess
Ben: them chicagoans will be crying like babies and dying in the street
Ben: they always piss their pants for anything weather related
me: ugh. i just thought the word "Pope" was "poop"
C: that's fantastic. his holiness, the poop
THAT'S FUCKING RIGHT, BITCHES.
IT’S MY MOTHERFUCKING BIRTHDAY.
i feel so fucking unbelievably soul-crushingly...
i am 99% sure that Mitchell and Webb are featured...
however, i can’t find anything on the internet that confirms this. and i can’t find the damn sketch.
"Drunk men take flat alligator for a ride: They're...
what a fucking boring day.
does Ron ever grow a pair?
i sure hope so.
i'm just now getting around to watching the Harry...
STOP JUDGING ME.
my life is now complete. →
Charlie: Agent Sinclair, you just happen to be talking to two card-carrying members of the North American Sundial Society.
Agent Sinclair: Hm. Let the good times roll.
"i miss you :( why can’t you just like… hop on a...
i totally would if i could! you could invite your dear friend the Captain too, if you want ;D
my life's goal (aside from participating in the...
Too bad you don’t smoke Marlboro or Marlboro Lights as they are the de...– quote on some forum i found. sooooo true
I remember reading a post in the group about a family who put their hamster in...– WHO THE FUCK IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD PUT A DEAD HAMSTER IN THE FRIDGE
to the asshats riding around on four-wheelers on...
pretty sure that’s not allowed. and fuck you for disturbing the sleep of, well, pretty much everyone but you. fuck you, i hope you crash. and break both arms and legs. love, me