Chat
  • Alexandr: у нас тоже есть котёнок [we also have a cat]
  • me: oh?
  • Alexandr: we also have a cat
  • me: да, я умею читать, спасибо ))) [yes, i know how to read, thanks]
Chat
  • me: fucking tired
  • me: didn't sleep at all
  • me: drank three cups of really strong coffee, i'm all jittery now
  • the Italian: lol i bet so
  • the Italian: how's it going for the rest?
  • me: wat
  • the Italian: let me rephrase it in a way that doesn't make me sound like an illegal immigrant
Chat

i laughed much harder than i should have

  • me: 8 )
  • Alexey: 8)
  • Alexey: my head is smaller
  • me: у меня очень маленькая голова (I have a very small head)
  • me: это правда (it's true)
  • Alexey: that is okay
Chat
  • me: i need your expert advice on something
  • me: and by expert, i mean italian
  • the Italian: shoot
  • me: if i put mozzarella on my raviolis swimming in tomato sauce, and then heat it up for the required time, is it going to be awesome?
  • the Italian: it's going to be melty, but not in a good way
  • the Italian: i suggest cutting it into tiny piece first
  • me: what if i put the mozza in halfway through the heating up time
  • the Italian: and put it in the sauce a minute before taking it out
  • the Italian: in that case it's gonna be awesome
  • the Italian: i'd say 2 minutes before taking it out
  • the Italian: but cut it into tiny pieces first
  • the Italian: or it's gonna be a ball of weirdness
  • me: alright
  • the Italian: delicious weirdness but nevertheless weird
  • me: well obviously i was gonna cut it up first
  • me: i'm not a heathen
Text

L: I’m shopping at an electronics store!

me: why the hell are you doing that?!

L: Because my housemate wants a pie for breakfast.

Chat
  • me: my knee is bleeding, should i lick it?
  • me: (i just got out of the shower so i'm clean)
  • the Italian: if you can physically reach it sure
  • me: dude it's my knee
  • the Italian: the upper part or lower part?
  • me: tastes like pennies
  • me: penKNEES
  • me: HAHA
  • me: middle part
  • the Italian: high five
Chat
  • Luke: what time of the day is it there?
  • Luke: half past butt?
  • me: 3:30 PM
  • Luke: pretty close.
Chat

so this came up while talking with my italian buddy

  • me: so this'll be two nights in a row i've had pizza for supper
  • me: how close to being a real italian am i
Text

i wish the “find friends” button on facebook actually worked.

like if i clicked it and actually made friends instead of just finding people i know/knew/potentially know.

Chat
  • me: i need 900 euro
  • Luke: What for?
  • me: a kitty
  • me: a motherfucking Russian Blue
  • Luke: That's just over 1100AUD
  • Luke: Why do you need a cat that costs over one thousand dollars?
  • me: because they're perfect
  • Luke: I bet their shit stinks just as bad as a free kitten from an animal shelter.
  • me: i don't care
  • Luke: Hah!
  • me: hubby's shit stinks like a hobo's shit, maybe worse, but i love hubby way more than i love hobos
  • Luke: Hahahahaha
Chat
  • Luke: oh my gosh
  • Luke: my dog is just as bad as you are
  • Luke: walks into my room, farts, and then leaves.
Tags: friends dogs fart
Chat

so, most of our conversations are like this. is this weird?

  • me: *rubs against ben's legs, purrs*
  • Ben: -feels cat rubbing on leg and reaches down to pet-
  • me: meow meow meow
Tags: friends
Text

shit i say to my guy friends

bro, be glad you will never know the misery of pooping while menstruating

Tags: period friends
Chat

i'm sorry; this is just so weird to me

  • me: how do you say orange in italiano
  • Giuliano: arancia
  • me: wtf
Quote
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU BEAUTIFUL GOOFBALL!"

my best friend Luke!

he’s the greatest!