- me: fucking tired
- me: didn't sleep at all
- me: drank three cups of really strong coffee, i'm all jittery now
- the Italian: lol i bet so
- the Italian: how's it going for the rest?
- me: wat
- the Italian: let me rephrase it in a way that doesn't make me sound like an illegal immigrant
- me: 8 )
- Alexey: 8)
- Alexey: my head is smaller
- me: у меня очень маленькая голова (I have a very small head)
- me: это правда (it's true)
- Alexey: that is okay
- me: i need your expert advice on something
- me: and by expert, i mean italian
- the Italian: shoot
- me: if i put mozzarella on my raviolis swimming in tomato sauce, and then heat it up for the required time, is it going to be awesome?
- the Italian: it's going to be melty, but not in a good way
- the Italian: i suggest cutting it into tiny piece first
- me: what if i put the mozza in halfway through the heating up time
- the Italian: and put it in the sauce a minute before taking it out
- the Italian: in that case it's gonna be awesome
- the Italian: i'd say 2 minutes before taking it out
- the Italian: but cut it into tiny pieces first
- the Italian: or it's gonna be a ball of weirdness
- me: alright
- the Italian: delicious weirdness but nevertheless weird
- me: well obviously i was gonna cut it up first
- me: i'm not a heathen
L: I’m shopping at an electronics store!
me: why the hell are you doing that?!
L: Because my housemate wants a pie for breakfast.
- me: my knee is bleeding, should i lick it?
- me: (i just got out of the shower so i'm clean)
- the Italian: if you can physically reach it sure
- me: dude it's my knee
- the Italian: the upper part or lower part?
- me: tastes like pennies
- me: penKNEES
- me: HAHA
- me: middle part
- the Italian: high five
- Luke: what time of the day is it there?
- Luke: half past butt?
- me: 3:30 PM
- Luke: pretty close.
- me: so this'll be two nights in a row i've had pizza for supper
- me: how close to being a real italian am i
like if i clicked it and actually made friends instead of just finding people i know/knew/potentially know.
- me: i need 900 euro
- Luke: What for?
- me: a kitty
- me: a motherfucking Russian Blue
- Luke: That's just over 1100AUD
- Luke: Why do you need a cat that costs over one thousand dollars?
- me: because they're perfect
- Luke: I bet their shit stinks just as bad as a free kitten from an animal shelter.
- me: i don't care
- Luke: Hah!
- me: hubby's shit stinks like a hobo's shit, maybe worse, but i love hubby way more than i love hobos
- Luke: Hahahahaha
- Luke: oh my gosh
- Luke: my dog is just as bad as you are
- Luke: walks into my room, farts, and then leaves.
- me: *rubs against ben's legs, purrs*
- Ben: -feels cat rubbing on leg and reaches down to pet-
- me: meow meow meow
bro, be glad you will never know the misery of pooping while menstruating
- me: how do you say orange in italiano
- Giuliano: arancia
- me: wtf
my best friend Luke!
he’s the greatest!